Monday, April 19, 2010
THE KIDS JUST LOVE HIM! click here:
Remember when you were young and poor, so your mama bought you a winter coat at the Salvation Army that you wore whether it was warm or cold because you were covering up that spaghetti stain on your one uniform shirt? Well we found that very same coat and sold it to Pop-singing phenom Justin Beiber along with those hand me down glasses that you got from your sister (even though she was just near-sighted and you are technically legally blind).
Re-used/ re-vamped G.I. Joe/Cobra winter coat- $237.00
Kanye Junior glasses- $530.00
Vintage Bowl-Cut- $200.00
Making your shame his fame- Priceless
MIAMI NICE click here:
NBC thought of relaunching Miami Vice this fall. To gear it to the young folks they cast Justin Timberlake and Jay Z. To ensure that this show be a positive influence on the kiddoes they rethought the whole Vice Squad cops on the tough streets of Miami-thing. Instead they'll be substitute History teachers in the tough public schools of Miami.
All purpose dork glasses- $170
"Academic Excellence" jackets, shirts, and vests- $700
Having the awkward social graces that prevent you from passing Teacher's Certification- Priceless
SKEE WEE!!! click here:
A lovely pink & green umbrella has always been a great way for a young lady to celebrate her love for her membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorrority, Inc... Oh wait, Farnesworth Bentley isn't a sister of AKA? Oh, this is awkward...
Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorrority, Inc. umbrella- $30.00
Having a truly unique conversation peice at your next college party- Priceless.
PRETTY (NERDY) IN PINK. click here:
What is with this recruitment campaign by Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorrority, Inc. to get more Ebonerd males into their sisterhood? I know that many of you keep telling me that it's a made-up conspiracy (made up by myself, mind you), but I keep finding images that argue otherwise. I think that I'll make a poster about it connecting it to "Socialism" and protest it at a local Tea Party Political Rally.
Monday, April 5, 2010
YOUNG JEEZY AND PRINCIPAL CARTER. click here:
That sure is nice of Young Jeezy to invite his geeky high school principal to a party... Oh wait, that's Jay-Z.
COMMON: KID TESTED, MOTHER APPROVED click here:
Common just wanted to reassure you that his music is safe to play around your kids by dressing as a mix of Mr. Rogers and Bill Nye the Science Guy.
YOU WOULDN'T HIT A GUY WITH GLASSES, WOULD YOU? click here:
There are three no-no's in fighting: never hit a girl, never kick a man when he's down and never hit a guy with glasses. But if you are a man with glasses that would kick a girl while she was down, then Chris Brown has the perfect glasses for you.
Glasses- $270.00
Tape- $3.50
Community Service instead of going to jail after beating your girlfriend who other prisoners probably love- Priceless.
SAFETY FIRST! click here:
Our President, Barack Obama, is a gentleman who considers everything strategically and deliberately. This being the case, he would of course put safety first. His trusty bicycle helmet will ensure that his trip does not end with any accidents. His form-fitting mom-jeans will ensure that Sasha and Malia are the last children that he Michelle have to worry about raising.
Bicycle helmet- $25
Wrangler brand Mom-Jeans for men- $19.99
Being able to enjoy an athletic endeavour while maintaining your shirt tucked in your jeans- Priceless
JHERRI COUCH click here:
Remember when your cousin (with the s-curl or jherri-curl) spent the night sleeping on your couch. When he woke up he left a big oil/ grease stain on your couch. Luckily it was an old, ugly couch that you had been meaning to throw out anyway.
Farnesworth Bentley was that cousin. When you threw the couch out he made a jacket out of it.
Couch turned to Jacket- Priceless
Dry-cleaning/ steam-cleaning services for all of the other items he grease/oil stained around your house- $578.32
RI-RI CAN READ click here:
That's right kids, the pride of Barbados is letting out here inner geek. One could argue that if she was so smart she wouldn't have dated Chris Brown, but that would be cruel and insensitive. A better argument would be that if she was so samrt she wouldn't have had Rainman & Forest Gump as her writing team for her last album. Those lyrics make me want to eat crayons.
A NERD FOR ALL SEASONS. click here:
Winter, Summer, Spring or Fall, Kanye will still deliver the mail to all. It is our belief that Mr. West is wearing this get-up because he is some secret agent of the United States Postal Service. How can they deliver in spite of "rain, sleet or snow?" They can because they equip special agents like him with one article of clothing with which to confront every season.
Autumn Jacket-
Winter Scarf-
Summer Shoes-
Spring Shorts-
An ego that allows you to mix Bobby Womack glasses with a lack of socks- Priceless
GO-GO GADGET SHORT BUS! click here:
This get-up makes Jay Z look like he spends a lot of time in the Public Library... but only in the Easy-Reader section.
Lil' Darryl glasses- $72
Secret Agent/ Secret Deviant Trenchcoat- $330
Keeping up with the Adventures of the Bearenstein Bears- Priceless
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